Blood, blood...and more blood! This film is so much fun to watch!
First of all I must say that you can’t really review this film without having an open mind. This is the type of movie that you have to just accept for what it is…a BLOODY GOOD HOUR AND A HALF of mindless entertainment. Piranha 3D is a remake of a 1979 cheesy little horror film that was moderately successful. Alexandre Aja (The Hills Have Eyes remake) completely lets loose on this undeniably no holds barred redo. He takes a pretty basic script and adds so many over the top visuals that you can’t help but be in awe of what you’re watching.
The cast includes Elisabeth Shue as cop Julie Forrester, Ving Rhames as Deputy Fallon, Steven R. McQueen as Julie’s son Jake Forrester, and Jerry O’Connell as a Joe Francis (Girls Gone Wild) copycat, Derrick Jones. O’Connell seems to be having the most fun as the man who’s trying to film footage for his online ‘Wild Girls’ website. He’s not a good guy, not a role model – and O’Connell plays him over the top, which actually suits the character. Eli Roth (director of Hostel I and II and co-star of Inglourious Basterds) has a memorable, yet brief appearance as a wet T-shirt host. The rest of the cast is rounded out by a couple hundred extras comprised of teenagers who we know are going to fall victim to the legions of piranha that live within the lake. Richard Dreyfuss makes a great, albeit brief cameo as Matt Boyd. It was a nice homage to Jaws. Christopher Lloyd also shows up ‘piranha expert’ Mr. Goodman and it was good to see him acting again. Honestly, all I could think of was Doc Emmit Brown every time he appeared on screen. His character had that type of energy.
The plot is very simple. In fact, in doesn’t really get any simpler than this. After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of the prehistoric piranha, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food for the area’s new razor-toothed residents. The funny thing is that the film reminds us of just how lax law enforcement, or a governing body, can be in what appears to be an obvious scenario that would call for the shutting down of the lake. It’s clear that these fish are deadly and they even have proof of what they can do – but the cops never really intend to stop spring break activities from commencing. Their excuse – the small town needs the revenue. It reminded me of how our government has handled certain situations and disasters in recent history. Either reacting too late, or trying to save a buck when it’s not as important as the cause itself. But I digress…let’s get back to this bloody good time of a flick.
The girls are gorgeous...even if they end up as fish food
Aja knew going into this one that he wasn’t going to take it too seriously. Why would he? If he would have chosen to go the serious route with this film it would have been just another poor attempt and taking something that could have been pure fun and turning into unnecessary melodrama. Aja has proven himself an up and coming horror film director. The Hills Have Eyes remake was a sick, disturbing rehash of what the original was. And it worked. It was so over the top that if you like that type of violence and gore – it was the perfect horror film for you. Aja does it again, and even improves on that film with what he has done here. The suspense builds quickly and he doesn’t make us wait to actually see the piranha up close and personal. At just under 90 minutes, the film moves along quickly and doesn’t feature very much down time at all. I actually found myself wanting it to continue at the end…maybe another 15-20 minutes would have been perfect.
Piranha 3D is a film that seems tailor made for guys. There are so many beautiful women and a fair share of nudity here which only adds to the experience of watching this. BOOBS BOOBS AND MORE BOOBS!! Model/actress Kelly Brook is the standout. She has a very sexy screen presence and seems a perfect fit for this type of movie. We all know that all of these spring breakers are going to either die or be severely disfigured by the time it’s all said and done. I like the fact that the film doesn’t hold back with the gore and actually gets very creative with some of the death scenes. Some of them are just downright SICK and you won’t soon forget what you have just seen. People lose body parts (one man even loses a ‘very’ important one) and some bodies are actually half eaten with the other half left for us to look at. It’s insane. And it’s exciting to watch. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much blood in one film. The SAW films come close, but by the end of this one there are so many blood soaked dead bodies, blood drenched partially chewed up people, and a lake that has completely turned red with blood that it has to be up there with the most amount of fake blood ever used in a film.
Kelly Brook. The casting director should get some kind of award.
Some people might complain that the CGI use in Piranha 3D looks fake. I disagree. Let’s get one thing straight, these aren’t normal piranha. They are mutated. The design of these flesh eating creatures is evil looking and they do look really scary. I particularly liked the sharp teeth, which look even better in 3D. As far as the other use of CGI, credit must be given to the special effects team who worked on this movie. The up close shots of the piranha actually munching on their victims is very well done. Some scenes actually feature great attention to detail. Props must be given to the crew responsible for re-creating the half eaten or fully eaten body parts as well. Even though the blood is brighter than actual blood (I’m assuming they made it brighter for the 3D effect), the chewed up limbs do look realistic. Credit to the extras too for really putting forth the effort in making us believe that they are scared shitless.
I think I would have enjoyed the film just as much if it had been in 2D, but I did enjoy how the 3D enhanced some scenes. It’s by no means the best 3D I’ve seen (that honor still belongs to Avatar), but it did make this movie more fun to watch. Unfortunately, the 3D doesn’t do well with darker scenes and a lot of Piranha’s shots take place under water. This is a film that will not appeal to everyone, in fact, it would probably be offensive to some. It is R rated…and a very strong R. But that’s what is so cool about it…it’s not made for everyone. It’s made for those who don’t mind a lot of gore mixed with a lot of naked chicks (an unbelievable underwater sequence with the two hottest women in the film is truly unforgettable) mixed with everyday characters mixed with a director who knows how to have fun with the material – and you have a film that is a perfect bookend to the summer. What better way to end the summer of 2010 that with a fun, cheesy, over the top bloodfest such as this. We got a bit of ’80′s nostalgia last week with Sylvester Stallone’s The Expendables and now we get even more nostalgia with this much-better-than-the-original remake of Piranha. I highly recommend this film if you’re looking for a fun hour and a half at the movies…and I also recommend it if you liked Jaws, even though it’s nowhere near as serious as that film was. Just sit back and enjoy this entertaining horror flick for what it is.
Rating: 
Piranha 3D trivia: Director Alexandre Aja wanted directors Joe Dante and James Cameron to play boat captains who give safety lessons to the teens. Dante wanted to do it but Cameron was too busy.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mW5_4gZ0Jn4
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